First 3 Scenes (unedited, first draft!)
Chapter One
“Watch out for the boss.” I frantically used a health potion to restore my dark elf's health.
Jacob, playing as a barbarian, rotated his character in a full three-sixty arc. “What? Where?”
I pointed at the screen. “There, between those two trees. Margon's trying to be all sneaky like.”
Jacob dramatically switched his character's weapon. “Never fear. This time, I've got the big gun, er, axe."
“There you go again, always trying to overcompensate,” I joked, running my elf towards the emerging boss: a long, green half-dragon, half-snake monster. “Let the adults handle this.”
My phone played the ominous Star Wars music—you know, the piece that played whenever Darth Vader came on scene. “Crap, that’s my second reminder. I gotta get to class.” I dropped my controller on the coffee table.
A second later, the boss bit off my elf’s head.
“C’mon, Frank. Let’s go again. We can kill this dude in ten minutes, tops,” Jacob griped.
“No can do. I was late for both classes last week. Teach said she’s dropping me a full grade if I show up late again.”
“But I can’t kill him on my own,” he whined.
“Tell you what, how about you keep trying. Who knows, maybe one of these days, you’ll figure out how to play the game.”
My roommate kept on complaining, but I wasn’t listening. I swiped my phone off the table, grabbed my backpack, and took off jogging out of our apartment. I’d made it barely a block when my phone beeped. A text message from Clarissa popped up.
Want me to come over? XOXO.
I frowned. She knew I had class. I went to reply, but the phone wouldn’t accept my passcode. I groaned. Jacob’s and my phones were identical, except for a dent in the corner of his phone. And… sure enough, this phone was dented. I entered his passcode and unlocked the phone. We didn’t buy matching phones to be dorks; we bought them because we got a super deal by buying them at the same time. This wasn’t the first time I took his phone, though usually it was Jacob running off with mine.
Clarissa’s text message didn’t make sense, so instead of texting her back, I decided to call.
She picked up on the first ring. “Guess what I’m wearing right now?”
“Uh, I dunno,” I replied. “What?”
“Nothing at all.”
My confusion deepened. “How’d you know I have Jacob’s phone?”
There was a pause, which I definitely didn’t like. “Frank?”
“Of course it’s me. Who else would it be?” Besides Jacob, I guess, since it was technically his phone.
“What are you doing with Jacob’s phone?”
I stumbled to a stop. She had the gall to sound upset for saying stuff like that to the guy I’d been best friends with since the sixth grade? “What are you doing talking all naughty-like to Jacob? You’re my girlfriend.”
“You’re supposed to be at class. Why aren’t you at class?” She sounded flustered.
“I’m on my way to class. Are you seriously putting the moves on Jacob?”
“For your information, he put the moves on me.”
“What?” I may have over-enunciated.
She huffed. “Well, yeah, we’re a thing. Deal with it.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. My body was going fuzzy while my brain was getting precariously close to exploding. “When did this happen?”
“About six months ago.”
My jaw hung loose. “But we’ve only been together for six.”
“Give or take,” she said.
I ran a hand through my hair, bumping my glasses with my shakiness. It all felt surreal, but yet my sadistic gut was laughing, telling me I-told-you-so. I may have wondered about Clarissa cheating on me before, but I’d always managed to convince myself that it was just me being neurotic. “I can’t believe this. It’s bad enough you’ve been cheating on me, but you’ve been cheating on me with my best friend, of all people.”
She huffed. “Why are you surprised? You got no prospects. He’s a college student. He’s going to have a career. In Accounting.”
“I’m a college student, too, which you obviously know, because you’re hooking up with my roommate while I’m at said class.”
“Oh, come on, Frank. You’re a college student? Really? You’re going to truck driving school.”
“That’s a legitimate program,” I snapped back.
“Being a trucker isn’t the same thing as being an accountant,” she said.
“Pretentious, much, Miss Political Science major?” I said, then added.
“Some of the greatest leaders in the world have Poli Sci degrees,” she retorted.
“Like who?”
She blustered. “Like… presidents and stuff.”
“Sure, presidents and stuff. Fine, whatever, let’s talk about our jobs then. Oh, wait, we can’t because I’m the only one out of the three of us with an actual job. And for your information, Jacob, with all his prospects, hasn’t paid rent once since we came to school.”
“He’s busy studying,” she said.
“He’s busy playing games and drinking,” I said.
“Like you’re not there, playing with him. And don’t get me started on your ‘job’. You write messages for a stupid fortune cookie company. What kind of job is that?”
“I make money. I pay rent for two of us. And I’m the one that always buys dinner on our dates,” I countered.
“That’s because guys pay,” she said.
“But just last night you were complaining about how guys shouldn’t pay or open doors for women and stuff like that because that’s sexist,” I countered.
She blew out a breath. “Quit putting words into my mouth.”
“I’m just repeating what you told me.”
“Just shut up already. You’ve ruined my mood.”
“Good!” I snapped, feeling a surge of anger.
There was a long pause.
“We’re done, Frank. It’s over.”
The indignation! “Wait, you can’t break up with me. You’re the one who cheated on me. I’m breaking up with you.”
“Good-bye, Frank.”
The call ended, and I found myself staring at the blank screen.
I wanted to call a buddy to vent, but the only two people I hung out with were the ones screwing me over. Literally. I couldn’t even be one of those saps who called their parents.
Life sucked balls.
The lamest part was that I never had a clue. Jacob hadn’t acted weird at all, which made me wonder how many other times he’d been a shitty friend. I thought of the videogames we played and how Clarissa abhorred them. I realized now she hated the games because she was an evil boss, and they probably didn’t like us killing her relatives.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Someone slammed into me, and I barely kept myself from face-planting on the sidewalk.
“Hey, watch it!” I said as I righted myself.
“So sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going, and I didn’t mean to bump into you,” a woman said.
I turned around, and my jaw dropped. This girl wasn’t just hot; she was hotter-than-the-sun hot. She had long red hair and curves that generally weren’t seen on women outside of a Playboy magazine. She wore faded jeans and a white, deep V-neck shirt.
“S’okay,” I managed to say, which was impressive considering that my brain had suddenly disconnected from my body.
She bent over to pick up the books she’d dropped, revealing a butterfly tattoo on her lower back. I admired the artwork, or something like that. What can I say? I’m a guy.
I rushed forward to assist. “Here, let me.” I pulled together the books and noticed the Advanced Calculus textbook. She was gorgeous and smart.
I handed them back to her as if they were ancient, fragile artifacts.
She smiled as she tucked them under her arm. “Thank you.”
“Any time.” I shuffled my feet, wanting to say something smooth and not wanting to leave her. Instead, I did the opposite. “Well, uh, I guess I’d better be going. Running late to class.”
“Want to grab a coffee?” she asked.
Did she sound hopeful? No, impossible. In the history of the universe, there was never a time a girl like that would be into a guy like me. I was seriously average in every way while she was most definitely not.
“I wish, I mean, I can’t. I got to get to class.” I glanced at Jacob’s phone, saw the time, and groaned. “And I’m late. Again.”
“That’s too bad…” She reached out and grabbed my hand. Her skin was surprisingly cold to the touch and wasn’t nearly as soft as I’d expected. In fact, it felt more like a metal clamp. “Sucker.”
“Wait, wha—?” A sharp pain shot from her palm and through me, followed instantly by a numbing sensation. I didn’t have a chance to yank away before I face-planted on the sidewalk and my world went black.
Chapter Two
My eyes opened to blinding light and the pungent stink of sweaty gym socks. The gray floor underneath me it looked like it had started out as white a long time ago. My head throbbed, and I brought my hand up to find a goose egg on my forehead. “Ow.”
I heard footsteps, and looked up to find the hot girl standing in front of me. “Your head hurts because you were clumsy and hit it on the sidewalk. Maybe next time you’ll pass out on the grass,” she sneered.
“What hap…” I trailed off as my memories came to me. I recoiled and kicked away from her, scurrying until my back was against a wall. “You… what’d you do to me?”
“Transporting you in your unconscious form was the most efficient way to load you onto my ship. It’s a well-known fact that your kind isn’t known for its intelligence.”
“Not all guys are idiots, you know.” I pointed a shaky finger at her. “And that’s beside the point. You kidnapped me. Where am I? Why am I here? What are you going to do to me?”
“One question at a time. First, to answer the only question that matters, you’re here because I have a job for you,” she said.
“I’ve already got a job, thank you very much, and I’m supposed to be at class. They’re going to come looking for me,” I said as I furtively scanned the walls. They were still white but covered in scuffs and stains. At least none looked like bloodstains, but the bare room didn’t exactly exude warmth. Especially since the small, cube-shaped room didn’t seem to have a door. I hugged my knees, feeling very small and very trapped.
She chuckled. “Let’s face it. No one’s going to come looking for you, Frank Woods. You have no family, and your only friend, at this very moment, is in bed, fornicating with your girlfriend.” She sneered, “Or is it ex-girlfriend now?”
I pushed myself to my feet, realizing what I’d been taken. I was taken because no one would miss me. No family, no friends. My only two friends had been screwing me, er, each other. My old man was a deadbeat dad who’d disappeared when I was four years old, and my mom was dead so there was no calling her without a miracle. She was right; no one was going to come looking for me.
Tension made my muscles tremble, and I nearly squeaked out my next question, “I’m going to be some kind of sex slave, aren’t I?”
She belted out a laugh and had the gall to look disgusted. “Of course not. There’s not nearly enough money in that. I have bigger plans for you. In fact, I’ve already filed all the necessary paperwork, and I can assure you that you’ll be bringing me better money than by working on your knees.”
I gulped and forced my chin up. “Then why am I here?” She’d kidnapped me, so it couldn’t be anything good.
She rolled her eyes. “Calling your species semi-intelligent is a stretch. I already answered that question. I flew all the way here to that dust-bitten world of yours because you, specifically, will be working for me. It’s as simple as that.”
“Flew here… for me?” I repeated in disbelief.
“Of course,” she replied, a hint of annoyance in her voice. “You were the only one I could legally obtain without submitting a request for new forms.”
“There’s nothing legal about kidnapping someone,” I retorted.
“I didn’t kidnap you. I moved you from point A to point B, with point B being on my ship, the Totty,” she said.
“Ship?” My brow furrowed in confusion. “But we’re in Nebraska. There aren’t any lakes around for miles.”
“Miles? That’s an understatement. Wrong kind of ship, idiot. You’re on my spaceship,” she explained.
I chuckled out of nervousness. “This can’t be a spaceship.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, and I tried not to stare at her cleavage. “And tell me, why can’t this a spaceship?”
“First, a spaceship would be all shiny inside. This place is filthy,” I replied.
“This is cleaner than most ships, trust me,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“Okay, fine, I’ll give you that. But I know it’s not a spaceship because if it was, that means I’ve lost my freaking mind.”
“You’re onboard my ship, whether you’re insane or not. Though I hope you’re not insane since you’re legally obligated to work for me,” she said, serious. “My name’s Totty, and I’m the owner of Starshine Seizure Specialists.”
“Wait. Totty? And your ship’s name is Totty?”
She nodded.
“You named your ship after you?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
I shrugged. “Just seems a bit… pretentious, don’t you think?”
“It’s my ship. I can call it whatever I want. And I’m a far superior race to yours. I have every right to be pretentious.”
“You’re saying you’re not… white?” I asked.
She stared at me drily. “I’m going to deactivate the hologram. Try not to have a coronary.”
“What holo—holy crap!” I jumped back as the redheaded woman before me morphed into a purple jellybean about two feet tall. She--it—had two big black eyes and weird little feet with overly long toes. It would’ve been cute if it wasn’t covered in warts. I kept as much distance between us as possible. “What are you?”
“I am a zuddlian, but more importantly, I am the holder of your work contract. That makes me your employer.” Her voice had morphed into a squeaky voice that didn’t sound quite human, more like a man after sucking a helium balloon. His words seemed to come from the air itself as the thing had no mouth.
My jaw hung slack as I stared at the small creature before me.
“You’re not having a coronary, are you?” Totty asked.
I continued to stare.
Totty sighed. “You see? That’s why I used the hologram. The first time you see a superior race can be a bit discombobulating.”
“You don’t look superior,” I muttered. “You look like the Easter Bunny pooped an apocalypse.”
Totty cocked his head. “You’re a strange one.”
“I’m not the talking jellybean.”
“Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
The next second, the room morphed from a small whiteish room to a larger whiteish room.
Screens covered a wall and cabling ran along the corners. A cylindrical tube sat against one wall. The rectangular room had round windows in every wall, the floor, and ceiling. None were of the same size or even at the same height which made them feel as though they’d been installed haphazardly.
It was dark outside, and I wondered how long I’d been unconscious. It seemed too dark, though, and I found my feet guiding me to the nearest window. Outside, it was a clear night. The stars twinkled brighter than I’d ever remembered. There were no streetlights, let alone lights from any cars. I leaned closer, pressing my hands and nose against the glass, as I squinted at the nearest artificial light. It was round with a section lit up, and it took a moment for my brain to point out that section resembled the shape of Australia.
I sucked in a breath as I stumbled backward. “That’s—that’s—that’s—”
“Earth?” Totty answered for me.
I nodded robotically.
“As I told you before, you’re on my ship.”
“But… but I thought you were lying.”
“A zuddlian never lies… unless there’s a profit in it, of course,” Totty replied indignantly.
I stared through the window to see the Earth ever shrinking in the view. “I’m not on Earth.”
“And there I was, hoping you weren’t a complete idiot like your father,” Totty said drily.
“Wait, what?” I jerked around. “What about my father?”
“Who do you think signed the work contract indenturing you to Starshine Seizure Specialists?”
Chapter Three
“You’ve got the wrong guy,” I said. “I don’t even have a father.”
“Oh? You were just spontaneously born. Let me guess, the old virgin birth story?” Totty asked drily.
“What? No. I mean, I have a biological father, but he ran off right after I turned four. I don’t even remember him.”
“That doesn’t matter. Biological links are what matter based on the contract he signed,” the alien said. “You were given a copy of the paperwork. Did you not read it?”
I racked my brain but couldn’t remember seeing any contract. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Your ineptitude is not my problem. A contract’s a contract, and your father signed one.”
“And what exactly did he sign?” I asked, still trying to process everything.
“He agreed to work for Sunshine Seizure Specialists—my company—in exchange for a ship.”
“Oh, like a person can just sign up for space travel like that,” I said sarcastically.
“Of course not. Your father happened to come across one of my repo agents reclaiming stolen property that had been hidden on your planet. The laws are quite explicit about non-interstellar races: they cannot interact with interstellar races. While, technically, humans are interstellar, per the letter of universal law, they aren’t. Therefore, I posed to your father a generous offer: he could work for me.”
“Or?”
“Or?” Totty echoed, confused.
“He could work for you or what?” I asked.
“Or he’d be exterminated, of course. I’m not a lawbreaker,” Totty replied.
I put as much space between me and the alien as I could. “So his choice was to work for you or die?”
“You make it sound harsh.”
“That’s because it is harsh!” I may not have had any warm feelings toward my dad, but I was starting to get a feeling that there was some bad shit that made him walk out on Mom and me.
“Your father chose to work for me. It’s as simple as that. He signed a standard work contract,” Totty said as he turned to a screen that displayed a page of gibberish. Weird curvy symbols filled the screen.
I jutted out my chin. “Where is he? I want to talk to him.”
“You can’t. He’s dead.”
I jerked. “Dead?”
“Dead,” Totty answered as a matter of fact. “His contract stipulated his next living heir would assume his responsibility upon his death. That’s you.”
I shook my head. “I can’t believe he’d sign away his kid.”
“Being a human, he probably didn’t even read the fine print. Even if he had, he probably assumed he wouldn’t die before his contract was completed. I don’t think he intended his guts to be a host for hundreds of gee eggs.”
I guffawed. “You mean to tell me he was implanted with alien babies, like on Alien?”
“I’m not familiar with the particular Alien of which you’re talking about, but yes, he was implanted with alien babies. When they hatched, they had to break through flesh. A gee tried to plant its eggs in me once, but my skin is too strong for them. Disgusting little things,” Totty said.
“Wow, poor guy.” Something I never thought I’d say about the man who’d left Mom to raise me all by herself.
“If you say so. What matters is that the contract now passes on to you. You are legally bound to fulfill your father’s obligations.”
I shook my head with fervor. “That’s not how contracts work. I’ve signed contracts before.” My phone plan, my apartment lease, and neither involved slavery. “What you’re talking about is illegal.”
“Oh, you’re an expert on universal law now, human?”
“Dick,” I muttered under my breath before saying louder, “I want to go home. Take me home.”
Totty motioned with one of his feet. “The door’s right there.”
I gritted my teeth. “No. You have to take me home.”
“I do not, and I’m not returning to that bug-infested dustbowl you call a home world. Per the contract, you either fulfill your father’s role to complete the time remaining on the contract, or you can walk right out that door, but I’ll warn you, it’s terribly chilly out there.”
I stared at the door in despair before turning back to Totty with a sigh. “How much time is left on the contract?”
Totty waddled over to the contract on the screen. The gibberish moved on the screen even though Totty had no hands to move anything. “Slightly over three hundred and sixty-two years.”
“What?” I exclaimed. My knees nearly gave out.
“Oh, that’s in universal standard years. In Earth standard years, it’s, let’s see, yes, it’s only sixty-eight of your years, plus four months and two weeks.”
I balked. “I’m nineteen. In sixty-eight years, I’ll be eighty-seven.”
“I’m glad to see you have some semblance of an education even though Earth standard time is a terribly archaic and complicated time-based system.”
I stared at the purple jellybean. “Eighty-seven is longer than the average human lifespan. I’ll die up here.”
“In all likelihood yes, but hopefully not before you finish your contract.”
With a burst of energy, I ran to each window, searching for a way out, but each window showed only more black space outside. I was panting, on the verge of hyperventilating, as I continued to run around the rectangular room. I must’ve checked each window at least three times, including the windows in the floor and ceiling. I made my way to the screens, but there were no keyboards—no inputs of any kind—the screens didn’t even respond when I ran my fingers across them.
“Are you finished?” Totty asked.
I scowled at the alien before making another round through the now-claustrophobic ship and stopped at the hatch. If I tried to escape, I’d die from exposure in seconds. Of course, that was assuming that everything I was seeing was reality—I was still struggling with that. For all I knew, this was some weird reality TV show, and if I opened the hatch, I might see a camera crew on the other side.
I grabbed the handle.
“I’d advise against that. I can withstand the cold vacuum of space. You can’t,” Totty said. It almost sounded like a taunt.
I lifted the handle. It was surprisingly easy. Pulling open the door was harder. I gave it a yank and it opened inward. Wind blew at my back, encouraging me to step outside. Before me stood the black expanse, and it was frigid. So cold that I stared in shock for a second before slamming the door closed and collapsing to the floor.
“Did that make you feel better?” Totty said and then complained, “It’s going to take an hour to warm it back up in here.”
I ignored the alien, instead choosing to wallow in my predicament. Now I knew what it must feel like for a lab animal caught in a cage. They had no control. They were at the whim of the scientists, and I had some serious concerns about the alien scientist overseeing my imprisonment.
I looked out the window to see Earth was now just a tiny dot in the distance. I wanted to cry. Instead, I gave Totty a grim look. “What do I have to do?”
Totty grinned, if you can call an alien with no mouth making that sort of expression that, and it was a very ugly, very chilling thing.
“Watch out for the boss.” I frantically used a health potion to restore my dark elf's health.
Jacob, playing as a barbarian, rotated his character in a full three-sixty arc. “What? Where?”
I pointed at the screen. “There, between those two trees. Margon's trying to be all sneaky like.”
Jacob dramatically switched his character's weapon. “Never fear. This time, I've got the big gun, er, axe."
“There you go again, always trying to overcompensate,” I joked, running my elf towards the emerging boss: a long, green half-dragon, half-snake monster. “Let the adults handle this.”
My phone played the ominous Star Wars music—you know, the piece that played whenever Darth Vader came on scene. “Crap, that’s my second reminder. I gotta get to class.” I dropped my controller on the coffee table.
A second later, the boss bit off my elf’s head.
“C’mon, Frank. Let’s go again. We can kill this dude in ten minutes, tops,” Jacob griped.
“No can do. I was late for both classes last week. Teach said she’s dropping me a full grade if I show up late again.”
“But I can’t kill him on my own,” he whined.
“Tell you what, how about you keep trying. Who knows, maybe one of these days, you’ll figure out how to play the game.”
My roommate kept on complaining, but I wasn’t listening. I swiped my phone off the table, grabbed my backpack, and took off jogging out of our apartment. I’d made it barely a block when my phone beeped. A text message from Clarissa popped up.
Want me to come over? XOXO.
I frowned. She knew I had class. I went to reply, but the phone wouldn’t accept my passcode. I groaned. Jacob’s and my phones were identical, except for a dent in the corner of his phone. And… sure enough, this phone was dented. I entered his passcode and unlocked the phone. We didn’t buy matching phones to be dorks; we bought them because we got a super deal by buying them at the same time. This wasn’t the first time I took his phone, though usually it was Jacob running off with mine.
Clarissa’s text message didn’t make sense, so instead of texting her back, I decided to call.
She picked up on the first ring. “Guess what I’m wearing right now?”
“Uh, I dunno,” I replied. “What?”
“Nothing at all.”
My confusion deepened. “How’d you know I have Jacob’s phone?”
There was a pause, which I definitely didn’t like. “Frank?”
“Of course it’s me. Who else would it be?” Besides Jacob, I guess, since it was technically his phone.
“What are you doing with Jacob’s phone?”
I stumbled to a stop. She had the gall to sound upset for saying stuff like that to the guy I’d been best friends with since the sixth grade? “What are you doing talking all naughty-like to Jacob? You’re my girlfriend.”
“You’re supposed to be at class. Why aren’t you at class?” She sounded flustered.
“I’m on my way to class. Are you seriously putting the moves on Jacob?”
“For your information, he put the moves on me.”
“What?” I may have over-enunciated.
She huffed. “Well, yeah, we’re a thing. Deal with it.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. My body was going fuzzy while my brain was getting precariously close to exploding. “When did this happen?”
“About six months ago.”
My jaw hung loose. “But we’ve only been together for six.”
“Give or take,” she said.
I ran a hand through my hair, bumping my glasses with my shakiness. It all felt surreal, but yet my sadistic gut was laughing, telling me I-told-you-so. I may have wondered about Clarissa cheating on me before, but I’d always managed to convince myself that it was just me being neurotic. “I can’t believe this. It’s bad enough you’ve been cheating on me, but you’ve been cheating on me with my best friend, of all people.”
She huffed. “Why are you surprised? You got no prospects. He’s a college student. He’s going to have a career. In Accounting.”
“I’m a college student, too, which you obviously know, because you’re hooking up with my roommate while I’m at said class.”
“Oh, come on, Frank. You’re a college student? Really? You’re going to truck driving school.”
“That’s a legitimate program,” I snapped back.
“Being a trucker isn’t the same thing as being an accountant,” she said.
“Pretentious, much, Miss Political Science major?” I said, then added.
“Some of the greatest leaders in the world have Poli Sci degrees,” she retorted.
“Like who?”
She blustered. “Like… presidents and stuff.”
“Sure, presidents and stuff. Fine, whatever, let’s talk about our jobs then. Oh, wait, we can’t because I’m the only one out of the three of us with an actual job. And for your information, Jacob, with all his prospects, hasn’t paid rent once since we came to school.”
“He’s busy studying,” she said.
“He’s busy playing games and drinking,” I said.
“Like you’re not there, playing with him. And don’t get me started on your ‘job’. You write messages for a stupid fortune cookie company. What kind of job is that?”
“I make money. I pay rent for two of us. And I’m the one that always buys dinner on our dates,” I countered.
“That’s because guys pay,” she said.
“But just last night you were complaining about how guys shouldn’t pay or open doors for women and stuff like that because that’s sexist,” I countered.
She blew out a breath. “Quit putting words into my mouth.”
“I’m just repeating what you told me.”
“Just shut up already. You’ve ruined my mood.”
“Good!” I snapped, feeling a surge of anger.
There was a long pause.
“We’re done, Frank. It’s over.”
The indignation! “Wait, you can’t break up with me. You’re the one who cheated on me. I’m breaking up with you.”
“Good-bye, Frank.”
The call ended, and I found myself staring at the blank screen.
I wanted to call a buddy to vent, but the only two people I hung out with were the ones screwing me over. Literally. I couldn’t even be one of those saps who called their parents.
Life sucked balls.
The lamest part was that I never had a clue. Jacob hadn’t acted weird at all, which made me wonder how many other times he’d been a shitty friend. I thought of the videogames we played and how Clarissa abhorred them. I realized now she hated the games because she was an evil boss, and they probably didn’t like us killing her relatives.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Someone slammed into me, and I barely kept myself from face-planting on the sidewalk.
“Hey, watch it!” I said as I righted myself.
“So sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going, and I didn’t mean to bump into you,” a woman said.
I turned around, and my jaw dropped. This girl wasn’t just hot; she was hotter-than-the-sun hot. She had long red hair and curves that generally weren’t seen on women outside of a Playboy magazine. She wore faded jeans and a white, deep V-neck shirt.
“S’okay,” I managed to say, which was impressive considering that my brain had suddenly disconnected from my body.
She bent over to pick up the books she’d dropped, revealing a butterfly tattoo on her lower back. I admired the artwork, or something like that. What can I say? I’m a guy.
I rushed forward to assist. “Here, let me.” I pulled together the books and noticed the Advanced Calculus textbook. She was gorgeous and smart.
I handed them back to her as if they were ancient, fragile artifacts.
She smiled as she tucked them under her arm. “Thank you.”
“Any time.” I shuffled my feet, wanting to say something smooth and not wanting to leave her. Instead, I did the opposite. “Well, uh, I guess I’d better be going. Running late to class.”
“Want to grab a coffee?” she asked.
Did she sound hopeful? No, impossible. In the history of the universe, there was never a time a girl like that would be into a guy like me. I was seriously average in every way while she was most definitely not.
“I wish, I mean, I can’t. I got to get to class.” I glanced at Jacob’s phone, saw the time, and groaned. “And I’m late. Again.”
“That’s too bad…” She reached out and grabbed my hand. Her skin was surprisingly cold to the touch and wasn’t nearly as soft as I’d expected. In fact, it felt more like a metal clamp. “Sucker.”
“Wait, wha—?” A sharp pain shot from her palm and through me, followed instantly by a numbing sensation. I didn’t have a chance to yank away before I face-planted on the sidewalk and my world went black.
Chapter Two
My eyes opened to blinding light and the pungent stink of sweaty gym socks. The gray floor underneath me it looked like it had started out as white a long time ago. My head throbbed, and I brought my hand up to find a goose egg on my forehead. “Ow.”
I heard footsteps, and looked up to find the hot girl standing in front of me. “Your head hurts because you were clumsy and hit it on the sidewalk. Maybe next time you’ll pass out on the grass,” she sneered.
“What hap…” I trailed off as my memories came to me. I recoiled and kicked away from her, scurrying until my back was against a wall. “You… what’d you do to me?”
“Transporting you in your unconscious form was the most efficient way to load you onto my ship. It’s a well-known fact that your kind isn’t known for its intelligence.”
“Not all guys are idiots, you know.” I pointed a shaky finger at her. “And that’s beside the point. You kidnapped me. Where am I? Why am I here? What are you going to do to me?”
“One question at a time. First, to answer the only question that matters, you’re here because I have a job for you,” she said.
“I’ve already got a job, thank you very much, and I’m supposed to be at class. They’re going to come looking for me,” I said as I furtively scanned the walls. They were still white but covered in scuffs and stains. At least none looked like bloodstains, but the bare room didn’t exactly exude warmth. Especially since the small, cube-shaped room didn’t seem to have a door. I hugged my knees, feeling very small and very trapped.
She chuckled. “Let’s face it. No one’s going to come looking for you, Frank Woods. You have no family, and your only friend, at this very moment, is in bed, fornicating with your girlfriend.” She sneered, “Or is it ex-girlfriend now?”
I pushed myself to my feet, realizing what I’d been taken. I was taken because no one would miss me. No family, no friends. My only two friends had been screwing me, er, each other. My old man was a deadbeat dad who’d disappeared when I was four years old, and my mom was dead so there was no calling her without a miracle. She was right; no one was going to come looking for me.
Tension made my muscles tremble, and I nearly squeaked out my next question, “I’m going to be some kind of sex slave, aren’t I?”
She belted out a laugh and had the gall to look disgusted. “Of course not. There’s not nearly enough money in that. I have bigger plans for you. In fact, I’ve already filed all the necessary paperwork, and I can assure you that you’ll be bringing me better money than by working on your knees.”
I gulped and forced my chin up. “Then why am I here?” She’d kidnapped me, so it couldn’t be anything good.
She rolled her eyes. “Calling your species semi-intelligent is a stretch. I already answered that question. I flew all the way here to that dust-bitten world of yours because you, specifically, will be working for me. It’s as simple as that.”
“Flew here… for me?” I repeated in disbelief.
“Of course,” she replied, a hint of annoyance in her voice. “You were the only one I could legally obtain without submitting a request for new forms.”
“There’s nothing legal about kidnapping someone,” I retorted.
“I didn’t kidnap you. I moved you from point A to point B, with point B being on my ship, the Totty,” she said.
“Ship?” My brow furrowed in confusion. “But we’re in Nebraska. There aren’t any lakes around for miles.”
“Miles? That’s an understatement. Wrong kind of ship, idiot. You’re on my spaceship,” she explained.
I chuckled out of nervousness. “This can’t be a spaceship.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, and I tried not to stare at her cleavage. “And tell me, why can’t this a spaceship?”
“First, a spaceship would be all shiny inside. This place is filthy,” I replied.
“This is cleaner than most ships, trust me,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“Okay, fine, I’ll give you that. But I know it’s not a spaceship because if it was, that means I’ve lost my freaking mind.”
“You’re onboard my ship, whether you’re insane or not. Though I hope you’re not insane since you’re legally obligated to work for me,” she said, serious. “My name’s Totty, and I’m the owner of Starshine Seizure Specialists.”
“Wait. Totty? And your ship’s name is Totty?”
She nodded.
“You named your ship after you?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
I shrugged. “Just seems a bit… pretentious, don’t you think?”
“It’s my ship. I can call it whatever I want. And I’m a far superior race to yours. I have every right to be pretentious.”
“You’re saying you’re not… white?” I asked.
She stared at me drily. “I’m going to deactivate the hologram. Try not to have a coronary.”
“What holo—holy crap!” I jumped back as the redheaded woman before me morphed into a purple jellybean about two feet tall. She--it—had two big black eyes and weird little feet with overly long toes. It would’ve been cute if it wasn’t covered in warts. I kept as much distance between us as possible. “What are you?”
“I am a zuddlian, but more importantly, I am the holder of your work contract. That makes me your employer.” Her voice had morphed into a squeaky voice that didn’t sound quite human, more like a man after sucking a helium balloon. His words seemed to come from the air itself as the thing had no mouth.
My jaw hung slack as I stared at the small creature before me.
“You’re not having a coronary, are you?” Totty asked.
I continued to stare.
Totty sighed. “You see? That’s why I used the hologram. The first time you see a superior race can be a bit discombobulating.”
“You don’t look superior,” I muttered. “You look like the Easter Bunny pooped an apocalypse.”
Totty cocked his head. “You’re a strange one.”
“I’m not the talking jellybean.”
“Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
The next second, the room morphed from a small whiteish room to a larger whiteish room.
Screens covered a wall and cabling ran along the corners. A cylindrical tube sat against one wall. The rectangular room had round windows in every wall, the floor, and ceiling. None were of the same size or even at the same height which made them feel as though they’d been installed haphazardly.
It was dark outside, and I wondered how long I’d been unconscious. It seemed too dark, though, and I found my feet guiding me to the nearest window. Outside, it was a clear night. The stars twinkled brighter than I’d ever remembered. There were no streetlights, let alone lights from any cars. I leaned closer, pressing my hands and nose against the glass, as I squinted at the nearest artificial light. It was round with a section lit up, and it took a moment for my brain to point out that section resembled the shape of Australia.
I sucked in a breath as I stumbled backward. “That’s—that’s—that’s—”
“Earth?” Totty answered for me.
I nodded robotically.
“As I told you before, you’re on my ship.”
“But… but I thought you were lying.”
“A zuddlian never lies… unless there’s a profit in it, of course,” Totty replied indignantly.
I stared through the window to see the Earth ever shrinking in the view. “I’m not on Earth.”
“And there I was, hoping you weren’t a complete idiot like your father,” Totty said drily.
“Wait, what?” I jerked around. “What about my father?”
“Who do you think signed the work contract indenturing you to Starshine Seizure Specialists?”
Chapter Three
“You’ve got the wrong guy,” I said. “I don’t even have a father.”
“Oh? You were just spontaneously born. Let me guess, the old virgin birth story?” Totty asked drily.
“What? No. I mean, I have a biological father, but he ran off right after I turned four. I don’t even remember him.”
“That doesn’t matter. Biological links are what matter based on the contract he signed,” the alien said. “You were given a copy of the paperwork. Did you not read it?”
I racked my brain but couldn’t remember seeing any contract. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Your ineptitude is not my problem. A contract’s a contract, and your father signed one.”
“And what exactly did he sign?” I asked, still trying to process everything.
“He agreed to work for Sunshine Seizure Specialists—my company—in exchange for a ship.”
“Oh, like a person can just sign up for space travel like that,” I said sarcastically.
“Of course not. Your father happened to come across one of my repo agents reclaiming stolen property that had been hidden on your planet. The laws are quite explicit about non-interstellar races: they cannot interact with interstellar races. While, technically, humans are interstellar, per the letter of universal law, they aren’t. Therefore, I posed to your father a generous offer: he could work for me.”
“Or?”
“Or?” Totty echoed, confused.
“He could work for you or what?” I asked.
“Or he’d be exterminated, of course. I’m not a lawbreaker,” Totty replied.
I put as much space between me and the alien as I could. “So his choice was to work for you or die?”
“You make it sound harsh.”
“That’s because it is harsh!” I may not have had any warm feelings toward my dad, but I was starting to get a feeling that there was some bad shit that made him walk out on Mom and me.
“Your father chose to work for me. It’s as simple as that. He signed a standard work contract,” Totty said as he turned to a screen that displayed a page of gibberish. Weird curvy symbols filled the screen.
I jutted out my chin. “Where is he? I want to talk to him.”
“You can’t. He’s dead.”
I jerked. “Dead?”
“Dead,” Totty answered as a matter of fact. “His contract stipulated his next living heir would assume his responsibility upon his death. That’s you.”
I shook my head. “I can’t believe he’d sign away his kid.”
“Being a human, he probably didn’t even read the fine print. Even if he had, he probably assumed he wouldn’t die before his contract was completed. I don’t think he intended his guts to be a host for hundreds of gee eggs.”
I guffawed. “You mean to tell me he was implanted with alien babies, like on Alien?”
“I’m not familiar with the particular Alien of which you’re talking about, but yes, he was implanted with alien babies. When they hatched, they had to break through flesh. A gee tried to plant its eggs in me once, but my skin is too strong for them. Disgusting little things,” Totty said.
“Wow, poor guy.” Something I never thought I’d say about the man who’d left Mom to raise me all by herself.
“If you say so. What matters is that the contract now passes on to you. You are legally bound to fulfill your father’s obligations.”
I shook my head with fervor. “That’s not how contracts work. I’ve signed contracts before.” My phone plan, my apartment lease, and neither involved slavery. “What you’re talking about is illegal.”
“Oh, you’re an expert on universal law now, human?”
“Dick,” I muttered under my breath before saying louder, “I want to go home. Take me home.”
Totty motioned with one of his feet. “The door’s right there.”
I gritted my teeth. “No. You have to take me home.”
“I do not, and I’m not returning to that bug-infested dustbowl you call a home world. Per the contract, you either fulfill your father’s role to complete the time remaining on the contract, or you can walk right out that door, but I’ll warn you, it’s terribly chilly out there.”
I stared at the door in despair before turning back to Totty with a sigh. “How much time is left on the contract?”
Totty waddled over to the contract on the screen. The gibberish moved on the screen even though Totty had no hands to move anything. “Slightly over three hundred and sixty-two years.”
“What?” I exclaimed. My knees nearly gave out.
“Oh, that’s in universal standard years. In Earth standard years, it’s, let’s see, yes, it’s only sixty-eight of your years, plus four months and two weeks.”
I balked. “I’m nineteen. In sixty-eight years, I’ll be eighty-seven.”
“I’m glad to see you have some semblance of an education even though Earth standard time is a terribly archaic and complicated time-based system.”
I stared at the purple jellybean. “Eighty-seven is longer than the average human lifespan. I’ll die up here.”
“In all likelihood yes, but hopefully not before you finish your contract.”
With a burst of energy, I ran to each window, searching for a way out, but each window showed only more black space outside. I was panting, on the verge of hyperventilating, as I continued to run around the rectangular room. I must’ve checked each window at least three times, including the windows in the floor and ceiling. I made my way to the screens, but there were no keyboards—no inputs of any kind—the screens didn’t even respond when I ran my fingers across them.
“Are you finished?” Totty asked.
I scowled at the alien before making another round through the now-claustrophobic ship and stopped at the hatch. If I tried to escape, I’d die from exposure in seconds. Of course, that was assuming that everything I was seeing was reality—I was still struggling with that. For all I knew, this was some weird reality TV show, and if I opened the hatch, I might see a camera crew on the other side.
I grabbed the handle.
“I’d advise against that. I can withstand the cold vacuum of space. You can’t,” Totty said. It almost sounded like a taunt.
I lifted the handle. It was surprisingly easy. Pulling open the door was harder. I gave it a yank and it opened inward. Wind blew at my back, encouraging me to step outside. Before me stood the black expanse, and it was frigid. So cold that I stared in shock for a second before slamming the door closed and collapsing to the floor.
“Did that make you feel better?” Totty said and then complained, “It’s going to take an hour to warm it back up in here.”
I ignored the alien, instead choosing to wallow in my predicament. Now I knew what it must feel like for a lab animal caught in a cage. They had no control. They were at the whim of the scientists, and I had some serious concerns about the alien scientist overseeing my imprisonment.
I looked out the window to see Earth was now just a tiny dot in the distance. I wanted to cry. Instead, I gave Totty a grim look. “What do I have to do?”
Totty grinned, if you can call an alien with no mouth making that sort of expression that, and it was a very ugly, very chilling thing.
Copyright Rachel Aukes 2023. All Rights Reserved.